lily_handmaiden

Wow, two entries in one day! I keep saying I'm going to blog more, and this is a good way to start. By just blogging what I feel like blogging in the moment.

Folks, there is a reason I tend to look at spoilers a lot, and that reason is exemplified in the fact that my abdominal muscles are actually sore from being clenched all day in anticipation of the Office finale. And that I'm slightly nauseous from compulsively eating popcorn just to give my nervous hands and mouth something to do. Does this say good things about my mental and emotional health? Probably not. But I'm addicted to fiction like Ryan Howard is addicted to the crack. I can't help it-- as a writer, as an actor, as an avid reader since the age of six, I can't help but get involved.

This May sweeps is driving me crazy. I can now vividly remember the reason that as recently as last year I was trying to cut down on the number of shows I watch. TV is so stressful! From now on I will stick to book and movies! I said. Books and movies, in most cases, have a definite end. Preferably, stick to the classics so that nothing else can mess with them. Anything by Jane Austen? You know how that's going to end, and it's going to be happy! Anything Arthurian? You know how that's going to end, and it's going to be sad yet hopeful! And that will be THE END. If you want to read the sequels and spin-offs, knock yourself out-- but they're optional. TV just keeps going. And you know that they're going to keep messing with you, and you even are pretty sure of the specific ways in which they're going to keep messing with you, and it could go on and on and it could start to suck (and after five or so years probably will), and there's nothing you can do about it! You're emotionally invested! You're along for the ride!

Last year, Michael hit upon the brilliant insight, "We are Ryan. And television is Kelly." We know the tricks that Television is pulling, and we get disgruntled, and we say we're breaking it off, but then Television will put on a nice dress or do something dirty, and all of a sudden we're back, and we can't explain how it happened. I would argue that, conversely, we are Kelly, and television is Ryan. Television likes to deliberately play with us. Television uses us as an object, and then it does something stupid and leaves us heartbroken, and then we get all bitter and we're all, "I have a question: How dare you?"

One finale down. One finale to go. I'm feeling halfway relieved that now at least I know. This year's finales seem like they've been more up in the air than I can remember previously. On both Bones and The Office, there has been crazy secrecy, hints of all kinds of crazy possibilities, conflicting reports... And I have not been reading spoilers since it's been impossible to get anything very reliable. Just lots of speculation-- lots and lots. Nerve-wracking speculation. Jim and Pam could get engaged or married or broken up or fired. Everyone on Bones could die and/or be Gormogon. On Bones, I'm still glad that I'm dwelling in blissful ignorance until Monday (well, I'm glad until I see spoiler cuts on people's journals and know that other people know things I don't know and then I start wondering what they know). On The Office, I would have liked to know. I'm better able to enjoy these things when I know what's coming. It's actually now I end up enjoying so many things so much-- At World's End, Revenge of the Sith... I know what to expect.

I had no idea what to expect with The Office tonight. That said, I did enjoy it, very much. It's just the kind of episode I'm not going to be able to watch again until I know everything is going to be okay. Like how I couldn't watch "Casino Night" ever during season three, even though it's one of the best episodes of television I've ever seen. Let's have a spoiler cut, shall we?

First of all, I want to give Michael a big, huge hug. I totally called that Jan would be pregnant and that Michael would have a thing for the new HR woman, but I didn't think it would be as heartbreaking as it was. I really hope Holly comes back for a while next year. That was too sweet. Her interaction with Kevin, too. I loved Phyllis's party planning. I am going to miss Toby. Ryan getting arrested was priceless. Although I was afraid it was going to result in either immediate arrest or immediate promotion for Jim. But it didn't. Moving on.

Okay, I was really excited about a Jim/Pam engagement. I'll admit it. And what makes its being thwarted even worse is that the Andy/Angela engagement isn't even going to go through. Though it was almost worth it for the Dwangela reunion it affected. I've never felt more sincere sympathy for Dwight than when he simply went to the camera and said, "It was my own fault." Guh. So their reunion at the end almost made up for the Jim/Pam angle. Almost.

Here's the thing: I like having some idea of what my characters are doing over the summer. Last year, I could say, "Oh, Jim and Pam are dating and kissing and being so, so cute and happy" with a reasonable expectation of being right. It was nice. This year, I have no idea. I want them to be happy. I'm such a huge sap, I always root for my favorite characters' quickest route to happiness, regardless of anything else. Pam's face at the end... and her talking head, where you can see her wondering whether this is just going to be Roy all over again... I wanted to scream at Jim, "DO IT NOW! JUST DO IT NOW!" Of course, in the real, reasonable world, Pam would not lose heart, because she knows Jim is not Roy; if she was very frustrated, Pam would sit down with Jim and talk about her feelings. Also, Jim would propose, if not before Pam left for NY, then on any one of his numerous visits to see her. This is not the real, reasonable world; this is television. So I'm extremely worried about the seeds of doubt that could be sewn over a summer spent living apart from Jim.

The best possible thing that could happen is for us to come back in September and find them already engaged, just like we found them dating last year. I wouldn't even mind so much if we didn't get to see the proposal so long as Jim and Pam are happy. Of course, the show is going to want to show us the proposal. But I can hope for a flashback, right? I'm going to have to. I can't bear the thought of Jim and Pam breaking up and becoming the new Ross and Rachel. Because of course they're going to end up together eventually. I just really like the nontraditional-for-TV route that the writers have been taking with Jim and Pam so far, and I really don't want them to fall into the rut of the relationship formula.

I can't believe I have to wait until September to find out what happens. I can hope and I can imagine happy, fluffy scenarios, but I won't know for four whole months, and that makes me so sad. I mean, it's going to be okay, right? Everything's going to be fine? Right? Of course right! Maybe. Hopefully.

GAH! They were SO CLOSE, you guys! Please, please just let them be happy! They've been angsty enough!

So, I guess I can hope for my summer happiness fix from Bones on Monday... but it's looking more like that finale is just going to leave me sad. With woe and death. Come on, guys, just one moment of Booth-Brennan fluff at the end! That's all I need from you!