Pirates of the Caribbean 2: The Revenge of Mr. Collins

[lily_handmaiden]

icon by me!

OMGSQUEE!

I just saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie and I'm on a complete piratey high! It was so good! And now I want to go around with a British accent which, in my head, I already am. Movies with British people do that to me.

I was afraid going in that I was going to be disappointed due to high expectations, because a lot of what made the first Pirates so wonderful was that you went in with no expectations, and were pleasantly surprised. But on the other hand, I am very hard to disappoint. Really, all I wanted was to be entertained and know what happened to these characters I like. And that I most certainly got.

And the special effects were really very amazing. Especially Davy Jones and the Kraken.

Okay, the movie was a bit too long (toward the end I was actually thinking, "Surely it has to be over soon?"), and the plot is definitely all over the place. But everything in it connects back to the first movie in some way, so that's good. Including the throwaway line, "And then they made me their chief." I think it helped a lot that I had seen the first movie again recently. I don't know what the Star reviewer was bitching about, it makes sense. I mean, I could probably do with seeing it a second time to figure out how all of the dots completely connect, but that's just because they connect rather quickly.

The ending is a complete cliffhanger, which I was expecting. But still, now I'm all anxious for the next movie. Perhaps this is what people felt like in 1980 after they saw Empire Strikes Back? The difference being that they had to wait three years for resolution, and we only have to wait less than one. I really hope they don't break up Elizabeth and Will. Because then I would be sad. It is fate, baby. Also, I really hope they explain decently how Barbossa is somehow not dead. They actually did explain what the deal was with Bootstrap Bill and the curse and all that. And the monkey was back! And I'm sure Keira was very happy that he had between one and zero scenes with her. And Scruffy!Norrington is very, very hot. He lost everything but his wig, poor man. Which brings me to a very important point:

THE EVIL EAST INDIA COMPANY MAN WAS MR. COLLINS! Tom Hollander from the latest P&P movie. This hit me suddenly in about the third scene he was in. In my head I was going, "He seems a little familiar... A little like... like... Ohmigod! No... It can't... is it? Is that.... I think it IS!" And then I leaned over to Bethany (my companion in piracy) and said, "Is that Mr. Collins?" And she said, "I think it IS!" And then we both just started laughing. Which continued through every single scene he was in. It's the revenge of Mr. Collins. He is out for vengeance on any Elizabeth played by Keira Knightley. Their scene together made this especially hilarious. This is his motive in the film. Not anything to do with the key to the chest, etc. etc. The only question now is... is he working for Lady Catherine ("I'll teach you to have the audacity to marry my nephew!") or is he working alone? (Also, I believe Captain Jack called her "Lizzy" at one point.)

On another wonderful in-joke front (which there were a lot of), Elizabeth's "When in doubt, faint" policy did not work this time. And I love the Will taught her how to fight. And man, did she kick some pirate ass! In speaking of pirate ass... poor Elizabeth was all, "Excuse me? I would really like to do the sex now!" which I thought was funny. Her poor dad just looked at her in the jail scene like, "Um... Elizabeth? I think... it's time that you and I had a little talk." And I liked the rum jokes. And pretty much all of the other jokes that carried over from the first. 

So, in conclusion... 

Mates, fetch the nets and rackets! It's time to play... Cutthroat Badminton!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

"And then they made me their chief."

but wouldn't that make this a prequel? I mean, if he's talking about something that happened later...

[lily-handmaiden.livejournal.com]

No. It makes good sense. He either revisits the place where he has previously been made cheif, or he is made cheif on a regular basis, but either way, it works.

[eve-wings.livejournal.com]

My comment is emailed to you, due to its spoiling nature :P.

[lily-handmaiden.livejournal.com]

My reply is emailed back to you. As I said, I'm not at all easy to disappoint.

SURPRISE!

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, this is Whitney. I could not sit silently through any of "Mr. Collins"'s scenes, and the first time he came out I about fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. And apart from the drunkenness, The Commodore was looking pretty well, I think. I didn't like the movie near as much as the first, some of the jokes felt kind of forced, but I am, like a nerd, eagerly awaiting the third(OMG Barbossa is back?!?!?!) And I would totally OWN you in cutthroat badminton. Afer all, I am Edward Scissorraquets. RAAAAAAAAAH!

Re: SURPRISE!

[lily-handmaiden.livejournal.com]

I agree that it wasn't as good as the first and, yes, some of the jokes were forced. But I still want to see it again. Any interest in accompanying me? We can try to sit apart from people in order to be able to talk? And laugh at Mr. Collins?
Also, BRING IT.

Re: SURPRISE!

[(Anonymous)]

Shouldn't that be Edward Raquethands? I don't think you would do to well with raquets that were also scissors.